I'm so bored...

Today was fun. I spent almost all of it talking to Sara off and on and we keep making each other laugh. Her friends in her class kept saying things like we're crazy because she was talking to her computer. It was funny. It's been fun and made the day go by a lot faster for me since I was alone. My sister is excited for my trip too. I can't wait! Is it weird that I'm already planning out my clothes for my trip already? I'm in that weird place again where I feel like I need to write but I don't know what to write about. I have a character and the beginnings of a story but I don't know how to write them down or even if I really want to write them down. I'm keeping this short because I've got to get a shower and go to bed because I have school tomorrow.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

What to write... Short blog is short.

Today was kind of interesting. Spent a good part of it with my mom. We got all the shopping done and just hung out and spent some quality time together. It was nice. We haven't done that in a while. Then we went to pick my dad up from the studio and went out to dinner just the 3 of us. Dad sat in the backseat of the car. :) That was fun for me. I kept catching my mom staring at me while I was singing today. My feelings are messing me up inside again. GAH! Dumb feelings. Short blog is short. Sorry.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

Poem and audition.

So I was going through some of my old pictures last night and found one of my old poems in one of the packets. I'm going to post it for you.


"Candie's Dance"
By Angel Donohew


Candie's dance.
No ordinary dance.
This dance done
Plays
A beautiful song
Played with each step
Each note not held long
A continuous beat
From a hard wooden seat
From her mind come the steps.
Each step plays a note.
The song is simple
Sometimes complicated.


A passion for sound
A knowledge unseen.
Only played by a key.
The dance of a pianist
The dance of her hands.
Candie's dance.


What do you think? Any good? I wrote it when I was about 14 years old. Today was my audition for "Godspell" and I'm officially in love with that show. The music is awesome and our script is fun. Plus I'm spending loads of time with my best friends. I sang "Name of the Game" from "Mamma Mia" for my audition today and I did really well with it. The song is right in my key so it was really easy. I'm tired and don't really have much to write about tonight. OH!!! I finally finished "Kaleigh's Story" by the way. I may be posting more of it later. Keep an eye out for it. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

Thinking...

I've been doing lots of thinking lately. Is that weird? I don't think it's weird. The first thing I've been thinking about lately is wether or not to post another part of "Kaleigh's Story" for you to read. What do you think? Another piece of the short story. Here you go. Just a snippet.


"Kaleigh's Story"
by Avalon Swiftwind


        Arabella touched Kaleigh's elbow and she jumped back. "We'll talk more later, child. Somewhere safe." Arabella smiled at her. "Come. I'll take you home." Kaleigh followed Arabella out to a waiting  car and they drove out of the city to a small farm house on top of a hill. A low stone wall surrounded the hill. 
       "This house looks cozy," Kaleigh thought. "Not like where I came from." She remembered the cold, grey walls of the apartment building she had called home most of her 16 years. Arabella noticed the confused look on Kaleigh's face.
       "Kaleigh, are you ok?" she asked.
       "Your house looks very inviting. Not at all like where I come from." Arabella showed Kaleigh around the house and showed her where she would be staying.
      "Do you like your room, Kaleigh?" Arabella asked while they were eating dinner. She nodded.
      "I've never had a room like that." Another memory flashed through Kaleigh's mind. She saw the mattress on the floor. She saw the cracked window that let in cold air and rain, the threadbare sheets, and the flat pillow. She shook her head to clear the memory. She caught Arabella's eye for a moment but looked away. Arabella was starting to figure out why Kaleigh had come to Ireland. They went to bed soon after dinner. Kaleigh's mind was reeling from all that had happened since she got on the plane. She slept fitfully and dreamed. She was awakened by  a touch on her shoulder that made her sit up with a start. Arabella sat next to her, a worried look on her face. 
      "What were you dreaming about? You were crying in your sleep." Kaleigh tucked her knees under her chin and wrapped her arms around her shins.
      "I had a nightmare about... my father." She wiped her face with her hand. She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. "I guess I should tell you my story. It will explain a lot." She paused again.
      "Take your time, child. I will wait," Arabella said.
      "My mother died when I was 2. My father didn't take it well and started drinking. One night, when I was seven, my father came home quite drunk and woke me up." Kaleigh swallowed hard. "He beat me severely and actually broke my arm. He took me to the hospital and told them I'd fallen out of bed."
      "I'm sorry, Kaleigh. A father should never hit his child," Arabella said.
      "It gets worse," Kaleigh said, crossing her legs in front of her. "When I was nine, my father was drunk again and had brought home a friend." Kaleigh stopped again. Arabella noticed that Kaleigh's hands were shaking. She reached out and took one of Kaleigh's hands. Kaleigh breathed in a long breath and sighed. "They came into my room and first my father's friend and then my father soon after, both raped me." Kaleigh's voice cracked and she began to weep. Arabella pulled Kaleigh into her arms and held her close until her tears subsided. "After that night, my father or one of his friends raped me almost every night. If I wasn't raped I was beaten. Some nights my father would do both. So I worked odd jobs and babysat and saved until I had enough for a plane ticket and when my father went out, I gathered what I could and ran away. I have no other family and no real friends so it wasn't hard to leave. I don't think my father will miss me or even look for me."


To be continued...
What do you think? Still as engaging as the last bit? I might post some more later. For now...


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

The PAIN...

This blog is going to be hard to write. My left shoulder is killing me from an accident I had with a stationary cabinet this morning. All of the muscles in my shoulder are tight and sore. I don't know how to fix it but I'm going to try using heat. It's weird but the heat sometimes seems to take forever to get into my joints. Thinking I might ask my sister to talk online tonight. See what she has to say about my shoulder. And just to talk. I like talking to her. My back between my shoulder blades keeps popping. It's bothersome. I did really well on my speech this morning. I'm proud of myself. I didn't say 'um' or 'uh' at all and I didn't say 'like' at all. Now that I'm home I'm saying it all the time again but WHATEVER! I am who I am and I'm not changing. Love talking to my sister. She always makes me laugh and feel better about who I am and where I'm going. I managed to stay away from stalker all week today. That's refreshing. Still finishing "Kaleigh's Story." I changed the title by the way. Did you know potatoes grow all over the US? I didn't. I still have lots to learn about our great country. My dad says he thinks I banged up a muscle right on the edge of it and that's why the entire muscle up into my neck is tight and sore. I hope that my shower tonight and a good nights sleep will do me some good. I'm thinking I might actually go to bed on time tonight even though I don't have school tomorrow because I'm actually pretty tired and the pain in my shoulder is actually kind of draining. I'm watching "Police Women of Cincinnati" and it amazes me how stupid some people can be. My favorite officer is Mandy Curfiss. I can't really explain why she's my favorite but she is. I'm not going to write much more tonight. Not really much to talk about.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

Ugh.

I still haven't finished "Kaleigh's Story." It's taking me longer than usual to finish this story but for some reason I'm having fun writing it. I'm thinking about posting part of it. I went for a run today. Walked up to the track because my bike has a flat and I can't find the air pump. It was nice to run and get some exercise. Although the cramp I kept getting in my side was no fun. Ran half of my mile, walked the other half. Then turned around and walked home. It was refreshing. Thinking about doing that again on Friday when I'm home alone. I'm sitting in my living room alone and trying to finish my story. I'll give you the first part though. Ok? Let me know what you think.


"Kaleigh's Story"
by Avalon Swiftwind


          Kaleigh looked out the window of the airplane. She was leaving everything and everyone she knew behind. What lay ahead of her she had only read about. A land across the Atlantic promised freedom from her past and the pain that had followed her for as long as she could remember. The clouds below her began to clear as the plane began it's descent. She saw the island she was going to call home for however long she decided. "Do you know Ireland well?" the lady next to Kaleigh asked. Kaleigh turned away from the window. The lady's accent was strong and she had long, curly red hair and big green eyes. Kaleigh shook her head no. 
      "I've only read about it. And seen pictures. It's a beautiful country." Kaleigh looked back out the window. 
      "You have someone to pick you up and a place to stay?" Kaleigh shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I see," the woman said. "You may stay with me if you like. Until you have a place of your own." Kaleigh looked at her confused. 
      "Why would you do something like that? Let a total stranger into your life and home?" she asked. The woman smiled.
      "I'm returning home from my daughter's wedding. I have no husband and an empty home. Why shouldn't I share what I have with someone who doesn't?" Kaleigh thought for a moment.
      "Thank you," she said. "You're very kind."
      "You're welcome. If we're going to be staying together we had better know each other's names. I am Arabella. What is your name?" She put out her hand and replied.
      "I'm Kaleigh." After the plane landed, Arabella and Kaleigh retrieved their things and went to the baggage claim area. 
      "What does your bag look like, Kaleigh?" Kaleigh looked at her shoes.
      "I don't have one. All I have is in my backpack."
      "That's not much. Are you not staying long?" Kaleigh shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
      "I didn't have time. I had to leave before he came back."


Did it grab your attention? I hope? Let me know what you think of that bit. I'll contemplate posting more of it later. For now, I'm going to bed.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

I'm writing again...

I started working on another short story yesterday and wound up writing 12 pages. The story isn't finished yet but I'm almost done. Got some homework to do today but it won't take me long. I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow but that's nothing new. I'm thinking about posting my new short story when I finish it. The main character's name is Kaleigh. I'm really excited about this story because it just sort of came to me. I had the urge to write yesterday and I just took out my pencil and started writing. The ideas just sort of formed behind my eyes like they do and I wrote them down. I think I might go for a run today. Might ride my bike up to the track up the street and run for a while. Sounds fun huh? Would definitely feel good to go for a run. I'll have to check the weather forecast and see what I should wear. No guarantee that I'll actually go either. Would be fun though. Take my iPod and turn it up for a while and just run. It'll help clear my head and be some good exercise. Get my heart rate up for some good cardio. I'll have to think about it some more before I decide. I checked with my parents and my dad says I just have to keep my eyes open while I'm up there. He worries and he's probably right to worry. Not the best part of town to live in. Hope you all have a great day. I'll probably post "Kaleigh's Island" later today or tonight depending on when I finish it. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

50th blog post

Wow! I've made it to 50 blogs now. I'm impressed with myself. I only wish it was that easy to do vlogs not just blogs. I'm sitting in my classroom listening to my Disney Pandora and loving the Glee music. I've been having all KINDS of trouble with my laptop this morning and I've been on the verge of tears it made me so mad. I'm better now that the dumb thing is actually working. I'm disguised today. "Son of Man" from Tarzan just came on and it's my favorite song right now. There's a line in it that says "In learning you will teach and in teaching you will learn." I don't know why that line speaks to me but it does. Speaking of speaking... :) I got to talk face to face with my sister last night even though she's in Cali and I'm in Vegas. The wonders of video chat. We planned out part of spring break as far as when I'm going to get there and what airport I'll be flying into. It was lots of fun to be able to see her while we we're talking and not just to hear her voice. Although that's loads of fun too. We've both been so busy for so long that now that we can talk again it's nice. I really enjoy having someone to listen when I need it and to talk my problems over with. She makes me laugh. I'm looking forward to the trip. Should be able to get some great video stuff for my vlog and some awesome pictures. It's been WAY too long since we spent gobs of time together. My Tuesday morning class is exhausting considering we aren't even doing anything. I'm super tired today for some reason. Of course, it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that it took FOREVER to fall asleep last night. My dad says I was too excited from video chatting and planning out my spring break trip. He could be right of course. I need to invest in a new card reader. Mine is broken and that's why I haven't been able to vlog recently. The memory card for my video camera is different than a normal memory card or I'd just use the card reader in my computer. Might be cheaper to just get an adapter but I don't know if they even make them... My back is killing me today. From the opening slide of today's slide show, we're going to be covering early Medieval art today. "Arthur" 's time period. Seriously thinking about seeing if I can find Tarzan online or just taking the tape with me to Cali. It's pretty much my favorite Disney movie right now. I used to be pretty obsessed with Lilo and Stitch but now I've switched over to Tarzan. I don't know why but I'm suddenly very interested in looking back and digging up the old stuff in my life. Of course I've also taken to looking to the future and enjoying where I am now. Living in the moment because the next one isn't guaranteed to me. My brain hurts from trying to figure out what my teacher is saying sometimes. It's annoying. He thinks he's giving us hints for our test but it just makes my head hurt. It's amazing how fast your mood can change when a song you like comes on. For me it seems to wake me up a little and makes me move and gets my blood moving back into my brain. It's pooling in my bottom again. :) I hate sitting for long periods of time. That's probably why I hate car rides so much. My flight to Cali is only an hour and 5 minutes so I should be ok. We're talking about Irish Christian art. Things about Celtic knots and illuminated manuscripts. It's making me smile because I already know a lot about it. I love Celtic knots. And I've learned how to draw them pretty well. I like them because they illustrate the Trinity really well. It amazes me how much I can write when I'm bored in class. I'm thinking about looking up early Celtic art. I love it and it's fun for me to look at because a lot of it is IRISH. I love being Irish. It's part of who I am. And I love being Cherokee too. My family is a family of survivors and that makes me feel good. I should take that feeling and put it into my speech class that always makes me nervous. Just think about how strong of a family I come from and think about what they went through. Should help me feel less nervous but that doesn't mean it will. I'll write some more later. For now I'm going to watch some trailers and listen to some music. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire. 

What a day...

Didn't really do anything today. Sat at home and watched some stuff on History channel about a bunch of the Presidents. It was fun stuff. Had some fun playing with my hair after my shower while I was watching an episode of "Glee" online. It got all curly and bouncy. My neighbor texted me a little later and asked if I wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheeses with him and his kids. Played some games and had some fun. Got my finger smashed playing Skee ball but I'm ok. Now I'm watching "Pretty Little Liars" and waiting for 9:30 or so. I'm looking forward to something and hoping it works out for me. Trying to plan my spring break and hoping that works out too. Lots of hopes and lots of prayers. I broke out some my old music this weekend and now I'm looking at some old music videos on YouTube. It's fun looking back and remember where I was at certain points in my life and seeing how far I've come and how much I've learned to be myself and do what I enjoy and not changing just because I want someone to like me. If someone is going to like me, they're going to like me for who I am and not what they want to see in a person. I decided that when I was a little younger but I don't remember exactly at what point in my life it was. I'm at the point now where I'm still discovering who I am but I'm better at standing up for what I believe in and not changing my mind unless I am given good reason to. I've been trying to find time to read this book I've been at for quite some time but it's pretty hard right now. My grades are kind of suffering but they're not so bad that I can't recover. It's been a pretty good day today. I'll let you know how the morning goes tomorrow. I'll probably post from class again. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire. 

Past posts

For now I'm going to post the blog I wrote in my car on the way to my grandma's house Friday night. I'll try and post a new blog after dinner tonight but I have school tomorrow so I'm not really sure what time I'll be posting and I don't really know what I'm going to be doing today so it might not even be a very interesting blog.


February 18, 2011 In the Car


I’m having to blog from the car and posting it after I get home from Cali. We had a portfolio review in class yesterday morning which seemed kind of pointless because we don’t really have a portfolio. It’s really hard to write and sing at same time. Turns out I won’t be seeing my sister this weekend after all. We’re trying to plan a time for us to get together later. Maybe over spring break. We’re almost to my grandma’s house and the hardest part of these weekends away is that I have no internet connection so I can’t blog or watch Katers’ new videos. Mom and I have been a number game on the way and currently we’re stuck trying to find the 28. It’s kept me from falling asleep the whole way here. I’m proud of myself. I think this is the first road trip I’ve made where I haven’t fallen asleep. :) So my mom told me that my grandma doesn’t know we’re coming. This could be fun. I’m listening to Everlife while I type and singing. My voice has really taken a beating today. I’ve been singing for about 3 hours now. Non-stop. Mom and I just found a cloud that’s shaped like Sam Eagle wearing an Elvis costume. Weird huh? Gonna keep this kind of short for now because we’re almost there. I’ll write some more later. 


Feel loved and safe. 
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.


February 18, 2011 We’re Here


We made safely to grandma’s house. I’m doing more vocal damage by singing some more. It’s Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” and other songs so I’m having fun but I’ll probably have a sore throat tomorrow at least. Hope I don’t loose my voice. My mom and grandma are having a Bible study like they do every time we’re here. I’m really glad I brought books to read and my short story book so I can write. I decided to switch my music choice to something I’m a little less apt to sing to. Josh Groban is going to help me relax now. Thank you Amy for letting me use your cd for this stuff. The song you dedicated to me is playing right now and I’m missing you even more than usual. It’s getting late and I’m getting tired. I’m thinking I should just plug in my phone and iPod and get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a fun day. Mom and grandma are having weird family discussions and digging up skeletons and it’s awkward. If I can tune out I’ll be just fine. Maybe I’ll just disappear into my happy place and leave reality behind. Well, off to dream land now. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire. 

Home again.

Home from California again. The weekend didn't turn out quite as planned but I still had a pretty good time while I was there. I'm watching Disney channel and hanging out by myself again. It was a long day today and I'm not sure how well I'll sleep. I've got a headache tonight and there's probably not much I can do about it. Really wish I could get my skates sharpened so I could go skating again. I'll have to ask my mom about it tomorrow because she's off work and I'm pretty sure the rink will be open for a while. Why does Yoda talk backwards? I switched over to "Star Wars" on Spike. It's the first one I think. I'd have to see Anakin before I could tell. Nope. I was wrong. It's the second one. Good. I'll get to see Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen together again. :) They're one of my favorite movie couples. I'm also talking to friends on Facebook. Not sure how I'm really feeling right now. Glad I got to see my cousins yesterday and had some fun playing with clay again. My cousin Daniel gave me a goal for the next time I see him. He told me he wants me to be able to make hands out of clay by then. So I'll be practicing. Lots. He's my favorite cousin. Him and Jaimee. They're my favorites because they actually listen when I talk and are interested in the things I'm interested in. Going to keep this a little on the short side but I'm watching a movie and talking to friends. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

Yay!!!

I actually get to blog while on vacation. The younger brother of a friend is letting me use his iPad. This is fun for me because it's an outlet for me for all the junk in my head. I finished writing out another short story today. I'm waiting to hear back from a teacher about how "Arthur" is going so far. We're probably going to my aunt's house this afternoon. Which should be interesting because I don't really have much to do while I'm there. I'll probably write some while I'm there. I finished Treya's story this morning. Gonna keep this pretty short but I've been keeping up with what I'm doing on my laptop and I'll post that when I get home.

Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trocaire.

It's happening again...

I skipped a day again I know but again I have a good reason. I don't get to see my nephews very often so I'd rather spend my time playing with them than looking at a computer screen. They're going to pick me up from school today and we're going to have a photo shoot. In class today we're talking about using humor. The teacher gave us 31 pages of information. I hope she's not expecting us to memorize any of this or to identify any of the stuff in speeches next week. There is one guy in our class that annoys me SOOO much. He annoys a couple of others in my class too. I think we're all girls too. We're watching a video in class. At least it's a comedian. The only problem I have with comedians is that a lot of them have dirty mouths. My friend has the best laugh ever. It's contagious and so much fun. It's nice having friends. I've been talking to one of my friends almost everyday and we have a lot in common so it's nice because we have a lot to talk about. I'm suddenly itchy. Driving me crazy! I hate being itchy. I'm excited for my lunch break today. I haven't had breakfast today so my stomach is SCREAMING at me. We're going to be hiding during the lunch hour because my personal stalker is here and probably looking for me. Isn't it interesting how the word "y'all" is used so much? It used to be a thing you heard in Texas or in the south and now it's everywhere. I'll admit I've used it sometimes too. It's a funny word. Know what else is a funny word? Polliwog. It feels funny in your mouth. Thankfully our class is almost over and I'll get to go eat. I'm going to stop blogging now and I'll tell you about my movies last night a little later.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

I did it again...

I some how managed not to blog again yesterday. Then again I spent a good bit of yesterday playing with 2 year old nephew and his 6 month old brother. I took some video and lots of pictures. We went to the park and played for about an hour and then David cried when it was time to leave. Now I just have to figure out how to get the card to work in my computer. I love listening to Disney music. The first song I heard this morning was "Glee" 's cover of "Jump" by Van Halen. It really woke me up. There's a new episode on tonight and Sam is going to be singing Justin Bieber's "Baby" in it. I'm really excited. My brother read all of what I've written of "Arthur" and he liked it. I've gotten stuck again. My class is making sculptures today so I'll get to be creative with my hands. :) Going to keep my blog short this morning. I'll try and post after "Glee" tonight.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

SO COOL!!

I was watching Katers17's new video last night and she showed my package!!!! I literally ran out of my room screaming I was SOOOO happy. I went and spent some time with my neighbors last night and we watched "Hairspray" together. I love that movie and I got really mad that they had to cut out some of the funny stuff for timing. They cut out a whole piece of a song at the end of the movie and that REALLY bugged me because it's one of my favorite parts. I'm thinking about turning that on while I'm blogging just so I have some background noise. So far today, I've gone shopping with my parents, pet 3 different rabbits, two different dogs, eaten lunch at a restaurant and emptied the bathroom trash. I love busy Sundays. We're waiting to go to Wal-Mart and then around 4:30 or 5 o'clock this afternoon my brother and his family will be here til Friday morning. :) I'm really happy about that fact. I stayed up really late last night and it was really hard for me to get up this morning. There's some weird internal clock thing in me that won't seem to let me sleep past 9 o'clock in the morning on a Sunday. My mom is cleaning, my dad is relaxing in his room, and at last check my brother was at the airport checking on something. I'm watching part of "Because I Said So" and waiting to go to Wal-Mart because I'm tired of sitting around again. I had a really annoying tickle in my throat this morning that I couldn't get to go away. Then after lunch today, I almost chocked on something at it took me about 5 minutes to catch my breath again. I'm waiting to see when Katers is going to upload her mail vlog so I can see what she has to say about what I sent her. It was just SO COOL to see the back of my package in the vlog last night. I knew it was mine as soon as it showed up. It's only one the screen for a couple of seconds but she goes "Aww!!" about it. It made me so happy. I had a pretty good week last week and this week is going to be good too because my brother and his family will be here. I'm going to get going for now. 

Feel loved and safe.

A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

The day...

I wound up not doing my audition today. I DID however go through about 1000 pictures trying to find enough for my website. It should be up and running very soon. Then I spent a good bit of time watching tv. I haven't really done much of anything all day. Going to be at my neighbors for a little while tonight. And then spending a good part of tomorrow morning cleaning up for my brother and his family. I'm going to have a pretty fun week this upcoming week. I'll let you know what goes down at the neighbor's tonight tomorrow morning when I blog. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

Saturday, 12th February, 2011

Today is going to be interesting. Going to be working on getting together a group of photos for my website today. Then putting them on a disc and sending said disc to work with my dad so that it can be sent to California so that my website can be updated and made all pretty and stuff. Functional. I went through with a friend of mine last night and we picked out the actors who will be playing parts in "Arthur" when it becomes a movie. :) Big dreams I know but it may help me stay inspired to finish the story that way. That same friend read over the first page of the book last night and says she's anxious to read more of it. Same with my brother. I may just let them read it next week. We'll see. Today is also my audition for "Grease" and I figured out at the last second what I'm going to sing. I'm going to sing the "Wizards of Waverly Place" theme song. I know it's short but it's in my range and it's easy to remember the words. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes in tonight's blog. I'm really excited for tomorrow because I get to see my adopted family and we're going out to dinner. It's going to be fun. I really kind of want to go skating tomorrow but I have failed to get my ice skates sharpened. Therefore skating would be hard for me. For now I'm going to be done with my blog. 


Feel loved and safe. 
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

Hmm...

I'm running out of titles for these things. Is that weird? I'm even starting to run out of things to say. I guess I need a topic to write about. I'm watching "Forrest Gump." Robin Wright is in it. I know her best from "The Princess Bride." She was Buttercup. That's one of my favorite movies. I never realized how awkward this movie can be. Then again the last time I watched it I was too little to realize what awkward was. It's a sad movie too. I think that Forrest might be autistic. Maybe I don't know. There is a new "Wizards of Waverly Place" on tonight. I'm excited about it. I'm supposed to have an audition tomorrow and I still don't know what to sing. This could be problematic because I like to be prepared for my auditions. I have a cat in my lap. She's sleepy so I'll leave her alone. I like it when she spends some time with me. I have to keep in mind that she won't always be around to keep me company on days when I'm alone. When that happens I'll be really lonely. I don't want to think about it. I've been told that my book is going to be good but I've gotten stuck a little. I've been thinking and maybe I could post some of my poems on here. I've written lots of things but I've never really thought about posting them before. I posted one of my poems on my myspace once but that was a really long time ago. Maybe I will put up one of my short stories too. I don't know what to write anymore tonight. I need to find a song to sing. I'll write more tomorrow.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

11th February, 2011

It's morning again. Today I will probably be spending a good bit of time cleaning my house. There are only 2 days until I get to see my brother and his family. I'm really looking forward to it. I won't be spending my Valentine's Day alone after all. When I get done cleaning a little I think I'll start on my gifts for Valentine's Day. I'll also probably get some studying done and work on my speech for next week. It's times like this when I wish my sister wasn't so far away. It would be fun to have someone to talk to while I play around with artsy stuff. I'll turn on the music and dance around and sing at the top of my lungs if I want. There's no one around to tell me not to. I'm cold and bundled up to try and get warm. So far it's not helping. I emailed my US History teacher last night after "Jeopardy" got over and told him what happened. He's glad he could teach me. He said that type of feedback makes his day so I'm glad I could make him smile. I'm watching "Overhaulin' " and my favorite host, Courtney Hansen, is in this episode. It's one of the older ones. She's my favorite because she actually gets in and works on the cars. The girl they got to replace her is just a talking head. She doesn't work on the cars. She just models basically. For now I need to get going on my day.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

Thank you!

I'm sitting in my living room watching Jeopardy and they asked a question about which Vice President was against the Alien and Sedition Act in 1798. I'm sitting here thinking "We just talked about this in history two days ago." The wager was $1,200. The lady said John Adams. She lost $1,200. I on the other hand said Thomas Jefferson and was RIGHT! I literally started jumping around the room and yelling. I'm so proud of myself. Thank you Dr. Carter for inspiring me to want to learn American History. I also got some questions about Peruvian owls right. And the Final Jeopardy question. I would have won some money if I had been on that show. We went out to dinner tonight as a family and had a really good time. My friend Sara gave me her Mom's Avon catalog to look through today and I found a claddagh ring in it. Unfortunately it's $40 and I don't have any money to spend right now. I wrote 2 and a half more pages in "Arthur" today. And I'm pretty sure I passed both of my midterm tests. I have to make up my speech though because I was feeling sick and didn't do it. It's been an overall good day for me today. Oh! I got some good news yesterday. My brother and his family are going to be coming for a week long visit on Sunday. I get to meet my new nephew for the first time and get to see my older nephew again for the first time since he was about a year old. He's 2 now. I'm probably going to be doing some family portraits as well as some pictures of just my brother. I'll finally be able to give him the posters I made from the pictures we took last time he was here. I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow because I'm still not feeling well tonight. I've got a headache in addition to an upset stomach. I walked up to the library today like I do every Thursday. It's a great way for me to keep healthy. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

I've decided... Here it is.

I have decided to give you the first page of "Arthur." I hope you like it and that you will want to read more of it. I should be having it read by and English teacher soon. So now, to appease your curiosity here is the first page.


"Arthur"
By Avalon Swiftwind


         "He's merely a child!" exclaimed Feldearak. 
         "That's why we called upon you, Feldearak," Paloberis explained.
         "What do I know of children?" Feldearak asked.
         "Of Uther's son, you know more than you let on," Paloberis said, taking Feldearak by the shoulder. 
         Feldearak stared at the torch on the wall. "Uther's son, a king. Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot." The reality of Paloberis' words was still setting in. "Uther's death is certain then?" Paloberis' silence was enough of an answer. "And what of Arthur's mother?"
       "It is still unknown."
       "Then the boy must rule." Feldearak paused. "There is no choice." He sat down at the long wooden table in front of him. "Does the boy know?"
       "Kildare has been instructed to tell him in the morning," Paloberis said from behind him. 
       "He will be mortified. Crushed," Feldearak said. "I should be there. He will need comforting."


Want to read more? Unfortunately I'm still writing. I'm going to have it proofread and hopefully published but I have to finish it first. Please let me know what you think of the first page. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

9th February, 2011

I'm freezing. Again. And I'm dressed. Going to try and make Irish Soda Bread again and not screw it up. I've been editing photos again this morning and it was going great. Then all of a sudden it stopped working and started frustrating me. So I stopped. Going to be studying while my bread bakes. I wish I had someone to study with. It's always easier when friends are around. I keep finding myself wishing I had a way to visit friends but all the friends I'd visit are either far away or in school themselves. And how would I get there? Walk? Ride my bike? I don't know. I want to go do something but I don't know what I would do. I don't like doing things by myself. Maybe I should load up my camera and ride to the park and take some pictures. I don't know. Or I could just go out in the field behind my house and find something to shoot. I suppose I could also go through my photos and put together the ones I need for my site. I have a lot of pictures to go through though. I'm going to go bake my bread. Then debate some more over what I'm doing today. Oh, and I'm changing the sign out again.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire.

Who did well today?

Me! That's who! I scored really well on my US History test this afternoon. I scored a 64 out of 70 which is 91%. I'm really proud of myself. I finished first and was the only one who didn't use the textbook or the internet. I just used the notes Dr. Carter gave us last week. I'm a little worried about Thursday though. Lots of notes to go through and lots still to memorize. I'm going to do my best. We're having taco salad for dinner tonight. I'm hungry so it's tasting really good. Watching Disney Channel while I eat and waiting for the new episode of "Glee" tonight. Going to be another short blog because my tummy is a little more pressing right now. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

9 February, 2011

1 midterm down, 3 more to go this week. Have another one this afternoon. I don't really know why I was so nervous about this mornings test. I should have known it would be easy. Now that I'm done with it I'm free til US History this afternoon. Thinking about going and registering for classes so I can hopefully get into the ones I want this quarter. Kind of hit a wall with "Arthur" lately. Need some more inspiration. I was watching movies yesterday that had lots of that time period in them. Lots of sword play and chain mail armor. The teacher just sneezed and scared EVERYONE. It was kind of funny. Need to remember to bring clay to school next week. We're doing an in class project. Going to keep this blog pretty short because I want to go get registered for next quarter.


Feel loved and safe. 
A Thiarna, dean trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

The day.

Today has been pretty boring. Studying and watching tv. Working on editing pictures from my photo shoot yesterday. They came out really good. Just putting my copyright on them and making some minor adjustments and corrections. The program I was using stopped working so now I'm taking a forced break and waiting for the oven to heat up so we can have dinner tonight. Watching "Criminal Minds" right now because not much else is on tv. From the comments I'm getting on my pictures from yesterday I'm feeling good about the shoot. The fact that it was my real first shoot with a flash and I got some good pictures I'm really proud of myself. It's different when a teacher helps you with your shots versus having to figure it out for yourself. I love to just experiment with my camera and equipment and figuring out how they work so I'll know for later. I'm watching different shows and picking up on all kinds of different body language things that I learned in my speech class. Next Friday, my parents and I will be driving to California for the weekend. It's going to be kind of a long trip but it's going to be fun because I get to see my sister. It's been a really long time since I got to spend any time with her. Why does Valentine's day have to be next week? And why is it on Monday? On the upside, since I'm single, I won't have to be around all the couples at school that are doting on each other and the lovey dovey junk and gross kissing stuff. Am I the only one who thinks they should have adult summer camps? I think it would be cool for adults to get to go and spend some time at a camp like they have for kids. With canoeing and crafts and cabins. That kind of a camp but for grown ups. I never really went to summer camp like that as a kid so I'd like to go now. I'm hungry and dinner is still 30 minutes out. I may have to have a snack between now and then. If you would like to see the pictures I took yesterday, they are on my facebook page. I'm still in the process of editing so please keep that in mind when you judge them for yourselves. I'll try and post when I get home tomorrow. For now I'm going to go find a snack.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

Fun, fun, fun

I've had all kinds of fun this weekend. I had Dayna spend the night Saturday night and Melissa came over for a photo shoot today. I may post the pictures later but I'm still editing them. There are 2 new episodes of "Glee" this week. One is on right now and I'm super excited about it because they're going to be doing "Thriller" in it. And we get another episode on Tuesday for Valentine's Day. I'll be home alone that day. Well Shadow will be home with me but she's a cat. And I'm single. So Valentine's Day is not going to be a lot of fun for me. I'm a little nervous about my midterms this week. Not so much my US History midterm but the rest are making me nervous. There's not really much to blog today so I'm going to keep this short. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, dean trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

I'M SO SORRY

I just realized that I failed to post AT ALL yesterday. Shame on me. I'm sorry. In my defense I got a lot of my cleaning done in my room yesterday and a little done in the kitchen. I need to finish cleaning up the living room sometime today as I'm going to have company tomorrow. I also need to finish my cleaning in my bedroom for that same reason. I've been burning a candle that a friend made for me and she told me that there is something in it. I've found what looks to be the top of a bottle of some kind with a cork in the top of it. Unfortunately I haven't burned enough of the candle to get it out yet. Soon though. I've been wanting to listen to some of my old music lately. I've been watching old Disney movies and listening to Disney songs. Trying desperately to hang on to some of my childhood I guess. Maintain some memories I guess. Every once in a while I'll hear a song or see a picture or think of something some one said and I'll get this weird almost flash back of a memory and then I feel on sentimental and get a little sad. I don't really see anyone from my childhood anymore other than my family of course. I've tried to reconnect with a few of them but it never really seems to work out. It sad to loose pieces of your past  because that's what makes you who you are today. I hate throwing things away because there's usually a memory tied to the thing you're throwing away. Then again there are some memories you wish you could forget. Some places in your heart you never want to visit again. Deep, dark, hurt places that seem to bleed again every time you think about them. Even some of your good memories seem to be tied to something sad sometimes. This is going to be kind of short but I'm going to register for spring shows today. I'll post some more later. I have a friend spending the night so we'll have some fun. 


Feel loved and safe. 
A Thiarna, dean trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

Long day

Today was a super long day. Had a good time during my lunch break though thanks to Tori, Sara, Victoria, Carmen, and Linda. We kept making each other laugh and it was good for me to have some human interaction. I avoided my classroom for as long as possible and then Victoria walked to class with me so I could avoid a rather unnecessary problem. I will be studying like a crazy person for the next few days because I really don't feel ready for my midterms next week. I have a photo shoot scheduled with my little sister and my mini me on Sunday and I'm looking forward to it. We always managed to have fun together. We'll be doing model style shots which I'm actually getting pretty good at. I'm really happy that Katers and Charles Trippy make videos every day. They're really good making me feel better. They make the day lighter. And I'm watching AFV right now too so I'm getting my daily dose of endorphins. I love laughing and I don't think I've done enough of it lately. I wish there was some way I could combine laughing with studying. I'm going to be making mega note cards tomorrow for my Thursday afternoon class so that I can study because I have 126 pages of reading to study and a lot of it is just extra information that I don't really need. I only wrote about a page in "Arthur" today but I'm seeing the pictures in my head like I always do and it makes it easier to write. I know that sounds really weird and kind of schizophrenic of me but that's how I write. I just saw a commercial where a spider kicks a full grown mans behind when he tries to squish it. If I ever see a spider like that I swear I'll probably pass out from screaming so much. I despise spiders. I know that God created them but they still scare the crud out of me. My back has been bothering me all day and I've had it pop twice today and it's still sore. Why must my brother and my father argue over nothing? It's ridiculous. My head is hurting a little tonight too. I'll probably go to bed a little early tonight and hope I sleep. It was a rough night last night. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna,déan trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

Blah blah blah

Sitting in class being bored out of my head. Would rather be at home asleep right now. Tomorrow is the weekend though and I have a photo shoot planned for Sunday. I'm super excited about it and the "Glee" episode that is on that night. We're supposed to be telling stories in class today and I don't know which story to tell. Going to be a short blog this morning because I'm in class.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna,déan trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

Ugh.

I don't know what to blog about tonight. I don't think I really got anything done today other than my bread. And I screwed that one up big time. I've got laundry in the washing machine. I'm watching the news and they're showing images from Chicago where there's like feet of snow and it keeps going down. They were saying that people were stuck in their cars. It was really cold this morning apparently. I was asleep. The high was 44 degrees today. I'm glad I stayed inside. My feet have been exceptionally cold though. Maybe that's a sign of how cold it was. The high for tonight is 26 degrees. I'll definitely be wearing layers tomorrow because the high is only 46 and I will be walking to the library after school. Just like I do every Thursday. I'm eating jelly beans and waiting for my parents to get home. My brother is at church. So I'm home alone again and kind of hungry. I didn't know porcupines made noise but there's one on "iCarly" and it keeps making this weird little grunting noise. I'm not looking forward to school tomorrow. I wish I could take a vacation from school for a while and just go somewhere and have a little fun. I just moved the laundry around and bent my fingernail backward about half way down the nail. I stepped outside long enough to close the door behind my parents and now my whole body is cold and I have goose bumps. I'm glad I have a blanket on the couch because now I can cover myself up and get warm again. I don't know what to eat but I'm really hungry. I'm nibbling on, get this, more junk food. I should stop and eat some real food. I'm hoping tomorrow will be an interesting day. Not sure if I'll take the laptop to school or just blog from my iPod. We got this pumpkin butter stuff at Costco about a week ago and I'm using it on an English muffin and I'm LOVING it. It's sooooo good! I'm going to quit blogging for the day since I've just been rambling about nothing all day. 


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna,déan trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

AHH!!!

So I was right. I'm pretty sure I screwed up my bread. I think I burned it a little too. It's harder than I thought it would be. Maybe next time I'll ask my dad for help with it. I'm waiting for it to cool so I can cut it and eat some of it. It's supposed to sound hollow when you tap the bottom and it does but I still think I burned the edges of it. I just want to taste it and find out. I learned something. Don't drink buttermilk. It doesn't taste very good. I'm watching "CSI: New York" at the moment and thinking about putting on "Tarzan" even though I'll be watching it by myself. I've been doing that a lot lately. Watching Disney movies by myself. Heck, I've been doing lots by myself lately. I want to go riding again. I'm missing that. I'll be heading to Cali with my mom again in just a couple of weeks so I'll be packing again and sleeping on the floor. Maybe this time I'll remember to bring a sheet so I don't freeze to death. I was really cold last time. I'm thinking about having some chocolate milk. Sounds good, huh? My bread is really dense. Which is a definite sign that I screwed it up. I'll definitely have to try again some other time. I'm going to watch "Tarzan" because I'm bored and the silence is hurting my head. I didn't remember this movie starting out so sad. I guess that's because it's been a really long time since I watched it. For some strange reason I'm super tired right now. It's weird. I love Phil Collins' voice. He did the music for "Tarzan" so I get to listen to it for a couple of hours. My chocolate milk is really chocolatey. Another short blog but I'll keep you updated on how the rest of the day goes.

Feel loved and safe.

A Thiarna, déan trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

So it's February now.

I don't really know what I'm going to talk about today. Hoping to see a friend sometime today but I'm not going to get my hopes up. Possibly going to watch "Tarzan" today. Need to make Irish Soda Bread. It's already after 11 AM and I'm alone. The house is pretty quiet and I'm pretty bored. Now would probably be a great time to make the bread. I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous about making this bread because I've read that it can take some practice to get it to work properly. Yesterday I wrote a total of 8 and a half pages in "Arthur". I was pretty impressed with myself. I don't know how much I'll be able to write in it today because I have some homework to finish up and house work to do. Need to do laundry and clean up the kitchen a little. Gonna keep this blog short because I need to go make my bread. I'll be sure to let you know how it turns out.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, déan trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.

Shame...

I know. It's been all day since I posted. But in my defense I wrote 5 and a half pages in "Arthur" today. That is impressive. My morning class was boring like it usually is but my afternoon class was pretty fun. We went over our midterm in class. Not the exact test of course but some of the questions that will be on it. I did pretty good but I still need to study. Tomorrow I am going to attempt to bake Irish Soda Bread for the first time. From what I've read it can be trying. I'm hungry tonight and I ate most of my lunch today. Mom packed it so I didn't have any junk food in there. Which is good because I've been eating an exceptional amount of that lately. I think I'll watch "Tarzan" tomorrow for the fun of it. I need to finish my "Jeopardy" game for Thursday's class. Not looking forward to that. I'll also be alone for a good portion of tomorrow. There's this guy at my school and he kind of creeps me out but he's harmless. Just really touchy and it makes me a little nervous. I should probably tell him that but I don't want to hurt his feelings. I'm going to get a snack and I'll be back. I'm eating a snickerdoodle cookie. It's quite good. Be jealous. I know back to the junk food but one cookie isn't going to hurt me. We didn't really talk about anything in class today that I think would be of interest to the rest of you. I got a couple of the questions on our U.S. History review right and I was proud of myself. I'll be honest, I'm a little worried about my midterm grades this quarter. I'm not confident on any of them. I don't like that feeling. "The Rocky Horror Glee Show" is on tonight so I'll probably be watching that. It's one of my favorite episodes. Although after that I'm not sure if I'll watch anything or if I'll try to write some more. I have a teacher that is going to go over "Arthur" for me and let me know what she thinks of it and if I need to make any changes. She's one of my favorite teachers. I haven't had her for a class in 2 quarters and I kind of miss her. I'm going to go early this quarter and get signed up for my classes so that I can hopefully be in at least one of her classes next quarter. My dinner is smelling incredible already and I'm hungry. I'm not sure how long it's going to be before it's ready either. I really want to go take some pictures this weekend but I'm not positive what I want to take pictures of. I have a friend who's willing to model for me but I'm not even sure where I want to go so it would be silly to book the model without a location. I don't really have a reason to take pictures other than I need to pad my portfolio. Next week after our midterm we're going to be making sculptures out of clay. I'm excited about it because I love to make things with my hands. I just hope that I'll be able to get the image I make in my head out through my hands and into the clay. Get this. I have MORE laundry to do tomorrow. I keep hearing this strange little squeaking noise in my room and I can't figure out where it's coming from. It's starting to bug me. Since I don't really have much to write about, again, I'm going to keep this pretty short. I'm hoping to have something to blog about tomorrow. I'll probably blog about my bread. And if I actually do watch "Tarzan" or not.


Feel loved and safe.
A Thiarna, déan trócaire, A Chríost, déan trócaire.